1. Vuco-Vuco II
Vuco II lacked the magic of the first album, but the cover art made up for it. Those nipples are very Vuco indeed.
2. Mica Ostojic-Trofortaljka
It’s not just that Mica looks like Benny Hill in drag, but couldn’t she have watered the plants just once?
This is howlingly awful. Love the fingers that look like vultures. Abysmal, truly abysmal.
4. Mija Aleksic-Seks I Keks
My name Mija. I sell photo of woman butt to you for price of $5 American. With this sale I can now do concept album on Atari 2600. Cannot afford Pro Tools. Remember comrades, look at the buttocks of nudely woman and repeat after Mija-Seks I Keks!
You know it’s uber-wretched when not even Gene Simmons would sue you. I actually saw these guys tear it up at Hardee’s last week. What a show that was.
6. Paddy Roberts-Songs For Gay Dogs
Time to look in the mirror Paddy me boy-it ain’t just the dog.
7. Celebration Road Show-Amazing Grace
I actually think the homeless guy is better off than the kid, and he’s less creepy.
8. Komputer-The World Of Tomorrow
Ve r Komputer. Our vision is of utopia of Barbie and Kens dancing to German elektronik muzik. Do you share vision? Zis is going to happen to us all in 1982-u vill see. We in Komputer no da future. You do not. We love androids.
9. The Ukuleles-Ukuleles On Tour
The cocaine was flowing on this tour bus…
10. Moving Gelatine Plates-The World Of Genius Hans
Genius Hans needs a punch in the anus.
11. Buildings-Melt Cry Sleep
I would MELT this album on CD or vinyl. I CRY at how pretentious it is. And, what the hell-I’d SLEEP with the naked chick.
12. Mrs. B-He Touched Me
Looks like he touched her in the right spot.
13. 31 Knots-Trump Harm
These guys deserve 31 kicks in the junk. This gave me nightmares for a solid week.
14. Merle Evans And His Circus Band-Circus In Town!
The authorities were in town too, and the circus tents being pitched in prison turned this sicko clown’s frowns upside-down.
15. Jo Calypso-He He Nick
This kid had to have crapped his green overalls during this photo shoot. Wouldn’t you?
16. Mrs. Mills-Come To My Party
That’s the first and last time Mrs. Mills hosted an orgy.
17. Rok Bergade-The Attack Is On
Proof that the inbred can design album covers AND misspell awful band names.
18. Vice-Made For Pleasure
I have neon douche chills just looking at the cover.
My big hose and porn stache will put out your fire, ladies! Ole!
These brothers from another planet are ready for some intergalactic sexin’! Beam me up JJ!
So futuristic with that sexy Vic Commodore 64! Clearly the future was wearing a gas station attendant’s used work clothes.
22. Kingpin-Welcome To Bop City
Welcome to Cock City is more like it. This is blindingly offensive to anyone with a sense of decency. Spare me Kingpin! (Get the bowling reference?).
It was worth his jail sentence. Those kooky Japanese, what will they think of next?
24. 2-Def-Str-8 Doin Tha Fool
Let the Mad Dog pour all night baby! Glad to see Klondike Kat and 20-2 Life representin’ as well on this musical masterpiece.
25. Karisma-Sweet Revenge
Glad to see the angry walrus imprisoned in chains I drew on the back of my Biology notebook in school became an album cover. Seriously, my cat could do a better job and she only had 2 years of art and design.
Truth in advertising. Even in Swedish.
27. Jantina-Als Jij Me Ooit Verlaat
Jantina is saddened because she cannot fit on the train and her man has packed his bags. But chocolate does await her at home…
28. Yorgi-On The Old Inca Trail
Yorgi knew that sodomy would lead to heartbreak, yet his lover would not let it die.
29. Vinko-Para Mayores de 18
U see many facez of Vinko. Eye iz master of disguise. In each foto eye iz very kreepy butt this only beecauz I likez 2 touch myself in the park. Iz this so wrong? Vinko only want to play male organ for u.
30. Gene Watson-This Dream’s On Me
Gene, gotta tell ya-this is no chick’s dream although that’s a mighty saucy shirt ya got there. Might want to keep that cheap-ass wine chilled a little longer though, because it’s for one.