Outtakes: 30 Abominable album covers that didn’t make the cut last time


1. Vuco-Vuco II

Vuco II lacked the magic of the first album, but the cover art made up for it. Those nipples are very Vuco indeed.

2. Mica Ostojic-Trofortaljka

It’s not just that Mica looks like Benny Hill in drag, but couldn’t she have watered the plants just once?

3. Wolf-Wolf

This is howlingly awful. Love the fingers that look like vultures. Abysmal, truly abysmal.

4. Mija Aleksic-Seks I Keks

My name Mija. I sell photo of woman butt to you for price of $5 American. With this sale I can now do concept album on Atari 2600. Cannot afford Pro Tools. Remember comrades, look at the buttocks of nudely woman and repeat after Mija-Seks I Keks!

5. Knorkator-Hasenchartbreaker

You know it’s uber-wretched when not even Gene Simmons would sue you. I actually saw these guys tear it up at Hardee’s last week. What a show that was.

6. Paddy Roberts-Songs For Gay Dogs

Time to look in the mirror Paddy me boy-it ain’t just the dog.

7. Celebration Road Show-Amazing Grace

I actually think the homeless guy is better off than the kid, and he’s less creepy.

8. Komputer-The World Of Tomorrow

Ve r Komputer. Our vision is of utopia of Barbie and Kens dancing to German elektronik muzik. Do you share vision? Zis is going to happen to us all in 1982-u vill see. We in Komputer no da future. You do not. We love androids.

9. The Ukuleles-Ukuleles On Tour

The cocaine was flowing on this tour bus…

10. Moving Gelatine Plates-The World Of Genius Hans

Genius Hans needs a punch in the anus.

11. Buildings-Melt Cry Sleep

I would MELT this album on CD or vinyl. I CRY at how pretentious it is. And, what the hell-I’d SLEEP with the naked chick.

12. Mrs. B-He Touched Me

Looks like he touched her in the right spot.

13. 31 Knots-Trump Harm

These guys deserve 31 kicks in the junk. This gave me nightmares for a solid week.

14. Merle Evans And His Circus Band-Circus In Town!

The authorities were in town too, and the circus tents being pitched in prison turned this sicko clown’s frowns upside-down.

15. Jo Calypso-He He Nick

This kid had to have crapped his green overalls during this photo shoot. Wouldn’t you?

16. Mrs. Mills-Come To My Party

That’s the first and last time Mrs. Mills hosted an orgy.

17. Rok Bergade-The Attack Is On

Proof that the inbred can design album covers AND misspell awful band names.

18. Vice-Made For Pleasure

I have neon douche chills just looking at the cover.

19. Tambo-Grupo

My big hose and porn stache will put out your fire, ladies! Ole!

20. Loveship-Loveship

These brothers from another planet are ready for some intergalactic sexin’! Beam me up JJ!

21. Ruidos-Programados

So futuristic with that sexy Vic Commodore 64! Clearly the future was wearing a gas station attendant’s used work clothes.

22. Kingpin-Welcome To Bop City

Welcome to Cock City is more like it. This is blindingly offensive to anyone with a sense of decency. Spare me Kingpin! (Get the bowling reference?).

23. ???-???

It was worth his jail sentence. Those kooky Japanese, what will they think of next?

24. 2-Def-Str-8 Doin Tha Fool

Let the Mad Dog pour all night baby! Glad to see Klondike Kat and 20-2 Life representin’ as well on this musical masterpiece.

25. Karisma-Sweet Revenge

Glad to see the angry walrus imprisoned in chains I drew on the back of my Biology notebook in school became an album cover. Seriously, my cat could do a better job and she only had 2 years of art and design.

26. Schytts-Schytts

Truth in advertising. Even in Swedish.

27. Jantina-Als Jij Me Ooit Verlaat

Jantina is saddened because she cannot fit on the train and her man has packed his bags. But chocolate does await her at home…

28. Yorgi-On The Old Inca Trail

Yorgi knew that sodomy would lead to heartbreak, yet his lover would not let it die.

29. Vinko-Para Mayores de 18

U see many facez of Vinko. Eye iz master of disguise. In each foto eye iz very kreepy butt this only beecauz I likez 2 touch myself in the park. Iz this so wrong? Vinko only want to play male organ for u.

30. Gene Watson-This Dream’s On Me

Gene, gotta tell ya-this is no chick’s dream although that’s a mighty saucy shirt ya got there. Might want to keep that cheap-ass wine chilled a little longer though, because it’s for one.

 

 

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About chudbeagle

My name is Pete Braidis and I'm in Haddon Heights, New Jersey and my goal is to point out how bad so many album and book covers are as well as review classic (usually awful) creature/monster flicks. I also have a book due out in June 2016 dedicated to guitar players I feel have never gotten their due. I interviewed 50 players from around the world and it took nearly 2 years to complete. It's called Unstrung Heroes: Fifty Guitar Players You Should Know and here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/Unstrung-Heroes-Guitar-Greats-Should/dp/0764350889/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1454387582&sr=1-2&keywords=unstrung+heroes Sometimes, I'll actually do something normal like a band history with album reviews but I try to do the funny stuff because it's my job to make anyone that bothered coming on here to laugh.
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7 Responses to Outtakes: 30 Abominable album covers that didn’t make the cut last time

  1. Matt Miller says:

    Once again…brilliant Sir! How awesome this crap is! The Bavarians are very sneaky and abstract with their perversions, yet the Asian folk seem to be quite direct. A dichotomy of sexual innuendo, but they share the same suckassness of musical talent. Bravo!!!

  2. barry steelr says:

    awesome!

  3. Susan says:

    I don’t care what anyone says Merle Evans and his circus band scares the living crap out of me…..damn evil clowns!

  4. Pingback: 21 Band Photos That Totally Rock | FeedFed

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